They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize