I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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