You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
