So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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