so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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