soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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