I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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