The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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