i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize