so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just high enough for therapy.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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