love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
