their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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