Don't make out with my wife yet
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize