I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize