I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
