All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
