I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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