it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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