Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
