I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
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So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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