this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Houston, we have a squirter
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
