I skipped work to stalk him.
Four minutes until I can fart!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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