fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
