If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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