is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
