she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
