16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
