Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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