I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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