just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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