Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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