belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
