It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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