Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
