Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
