goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize