Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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