She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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