we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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