Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Randomize
