I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Girls should come with a carfax report
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
