So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
