Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
