Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
