i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize