You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
