Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the condom got lost in my hair
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
