we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
