Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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