You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
