He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
