My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
