Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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