my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize