you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
