Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
