Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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