I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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