tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
