Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
