TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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