dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
