I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm both gender and math confused
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
