we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
