Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
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Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.