i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.