if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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