that's an acceptable place to lick
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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