I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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