just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sober January is a disaster.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
